..of silence...

i could hear the wind blasted the glass window of my room but i couldnt stand..i just finished my lunch,i should be very energetic..i know i have to..it's another workload for a week but i feel so heavy..i have been feeling this i dont know for how long...what's up?..i always ask myself..."this is not new to you mercy.this has been with you long before the doctors confirmed it.."..
i am so sick of watching bundles of medicines..piles of transcription receipts...even i am paralyzed of keeping my medical check ups..so what are these for?..is it really the hormonal imbalanced  that bothers me,keeping me awake all night?..or the effect of having this imbalance?...rather,deeper than this scientific explanation of my unpredictable mood?...after all..these are all excuses..a tangible explanation of despair..
i cant help myself to reminisce how was i?..had i been comfortable and secured before? why no matter how i keep myself uploaded with things i should have,i still end up like going nowhere?..i dont understand..and i have never been understood,but who cares?..i also dont care...the only thing i matter is i dont care...why?...can you tell me why?
i have been dreaming for a simple living...but that simplicity brought me to any different places.. letting me realize that it's not simple after all...why do  people fail to notice that like the girl in the 'bfgf fries' mcdonald advertisement said:"simple lang naman gusto ko, gusto ko lang naman yang fries sa mcdo eh"...ganun lang sana...sana...