The silhuette

It's there again..it keeps on coming back nowadays..but it had been silent for that long until one night I was horrified with a loud shriek..I got up suddenly from a very deep sleep..I heard slight tapping of fingers in my door..I was so hesitant..but what if my hesitation would Make the situation worst..with a trembling hand i turned the knob but..oh holies!..everything was dark..but I felt a cold substance on my right foot,somewhat sticky..I could feel someone's creeping,oh dear don't scare me..i wasn't born only to be scared by unseen things..A midsummer moonlight reflected on the mirror that caused me to see that familiar silhouette.,a silhuette I've been tracking to follow from the moment I lost it in the lagoon..a lagoon where we used to play and spent quality time together as we made that pair of sleeper from the shells we gathered from that lagoon..then the curtain moves..putting me back to reality..I hurriedly catch that wind passing by but it falls me on my knees..how could you be so cruel?.why for several times you came so abrupt and left me onthe air?do you ever know how does it feel to be left alone unanswered? Would you not care if not to listen but just to let me feel that you have been there just like silhuette does.

..of silence...

i could hear the wind blasted the glass window of my room but i couldnt stand..i just finished my lunch,i should be very energetic..i know i have to..it's another workload for a week but i feel so heavy..i have been feeling this i dont know for how long...what's up?..i always ask myself..."this is not new to you mercy.this has been with you long before the doctors confirmed it.."..
i am so sick of watching bundles of medicines..piles of transcription receipts...even i am paralyzed of keeping my medical check ups..so what are these for?..is it really the hormonal imbalanced  that bothers me,keeping me awake all night?..or the effect of having this imbalance?...rather,deeper than this scientific explanation of my unpredictable mood?...after all..these are all excuses..a tangible explanation of despair..
i cant help myself to reminisce how was i?..had i been comfortable and secured before? why no matter how i keep myself uploaded with things i should have,i still end up like going nowhere?..i dont understand..and i have never been understood,but who cares?..i also dont care...the only thing i matter is i dont care...why?...can you tell me why?
i have been dreaming for a simple living...but that simplicity brought me to any different places.. letting me realize that it's not simple after all...why do  people fail to notice that like the girl in the 'bfgf fries' mcdonald advertisement said:"simple lang naman gusto ko, gusto ko lang naman yang fries sa mcdo eh"...ganun lang sana...sana...